He answered, “No, I need the car for my interview. I can’t take the bus or metro; you know the interview is around 8:30. If I drive you to work, then I will miss the appointment.”
　　“Oh my goodness, I have to go now since I may miss the bus. It will take me 1 hour to get to my company.”
　　“Mommy, can’t we go together in Daddy’s car?” Judie asked anxiously.

　　She gave her daughter a kiss on the forehead, and whispered to her, “My sweetie, Dad has to find a new job and needs the car, so he has no time to drive Mommy, but Dad will drive you to your school. I love you my little pumpkin. See you tonight; Mommy will bring a birthday cake for you.”
　　“I love you, too.” Judie finally smiled.
　　The husband was still very mad, and yelled at her, “Why can’t you listen to me and go to LA with me today? I hate to let you go to work!”
　　She left; it was 7:00 a.m.
　　He sent Judie to the kindergarten nearby, and then headed for his interview. It was 8:20; he made it.He turned off his cell phone and entered the office. After he finished the interview, it was 9:20 a.m., and he went home.

　　He turned the TV on. An undeliverable disaster movie-like picture impacted his eyes; the reporter announced the horrible news.
　　“Jesus! What the hell!!!” He couldn’t help yelling.
　　He turned his cell phone on; the familiar voice of his wife was crying, “Darling, where are you now? Can you speak to me now? It is very dangerous here! I don’t know what happened!” It was the first voice mail, saved at 8:53 a.m.
　　“We are trapped here, and the elevator is not working! Almost everything is on fire now!” Then the second message followed, saved at 9:00 a.m.
　　“I am sorry I can’t go to see your mom; please tell her I am so sorry! I love you and our baby girl, and good luck at the interview. Please take care of yourself and our daughter. Please also tell her I wish her a happy birthday, buy her a nice birthday cake. I love you and Judie. I also love our unborn baby. I am really sorry I insisted to go to work without listening…” she coughed badly in the last one and she was very emotional. She called him for the last time at 9:04 a.m.

　　These voice mails wounded his heart brutally. The background was very noisy, full of screaming, crying. He tried to call her, but failed; tried again, and again. He felt like that he had drowned in iced water: desperate, and painful!
　　“What the hell!!!” He threw the phone on the couch and rushed to his car.
　　He had to know the truth. While he was driving, the TV news and scary pictures were imprinted on his brain. An unknown airplane hit the New York World Trade Center 86th floor, and terrified people jumped out of building; panic was everywhere around. She had worked on the 85th floor in that famous building since he got fired two weeks ago. As a cleaner, she had to clean the whole company and she had been doing her job very well.

　　He stared at the demolished building from a couple of blocks away. It became a huge pile of concrete hill; smog and fire made this city a horrible and desolate hell. The tears dropped down like a flood from his eyes; he took a look at his watch: 10:05 a.m., September 11th. It was four years ago at the same time their daughter was born. He mumbled to himself, “If I had never lost my job! If I had never lost my job...” 　


日期：2009-12-13　14:30:04

　　我的泪水怎样也止不住,强忍住心痛,我给他打了一个电话:“你不是说中国就是你的第二故乡吗？你不是说除了和我在一起，你哪里都不想去吗？你不是说等离婚诉讼结束，马上就娶我吗？你不是说你最大的心愿就是要一个我们的宝宝吗？为什么呢——你会想要迫不及待地回美国？？？”他紧张而愠怒地问：“伊伊，你说什么啊？我听不懂！别无事生非好不好？我正在打高尔夫。等我回家再说行不行？”我对他故作不知的行径大为失望，于是情不自禁地提高了音量：“我要离开你，你有太多事情瞒着我了！”他急忙说：“别这样好吗？我大概还有一个小时就结束了，我保证一个半小时左右到家。你别胡思乱想，事情不是你想象的那样！”我心碎地问他：“那么到底是什么样的？为什么你写给姐姐的信说给我看，却根本就不让我看？为什么我好心希望你和家人重新建立和睦融洽的关系，你却把中国说得好像是非洲一样，你只字不提我没关系，但是你要回美国为什么不能告诉我？为什么你心里还是想着和伊莲共度晚年呢？那么我们又算什么——难道你要我当你的过渡情人，在中国孤独的时候的消遣吗？？”不等他回答，我把电话挂了。从来没有想到被欺骗的滋味如此难受，我以为从此便是枕边人，他却把归心似箭的心情和对孩子的思念隐藏起来，难道我们的相遇注定只能是萍聚一场吗？我害怕我们的感情根本敌不过他和伊莲的亲情，我更害怕他对孩子们的爱终于会驱使他放弃我们好不容易拥有的感情——是的，没人看好的卑微的感情，对我而言现在却是我的天，我的全部啊！


日期：2009-12-13　14:45:07

　　我开始收拾行李，望着这熟悉的小家，嗅着这家里熟悉的味道，我该何去何从呢？离婚的女人在没有亲朋好友的城市，遇上一个以为从此能够让他保管这颗受伤的心灵的人，以为从此便拥有了安稳的幸福，可是却无法把握他的心，无法把握我们的未来。客厅也好，卧室也好，到处都是我们的合影，就算带走又能怎样？我要对着他的笑脸哭泣并怀念他吗？不管事情的真相是什么，至少他在对其中一人撒谎，以我的单纯经历，又如何能知道他的企图是什么呢？我趴在书桌旁开始给他写告别信，告诉他，我真的爱过他，真的很悲哀我们无法继续，也希望他从此能和孩子们相守，不管是不是决定离婚，都希望他能做出一个对未来负责的选择，为了公司也好，为了婚姻也好，为了孩子的前途也好，也许留在美国才是对他最好的选择。泪水流了满脸，我知道自己很不舍，却不愿意当那个罪人，那个让他离开家园离开公司离开孩子的罪人。我承担不起那样的罪过，从一开始就无法承担，既然现在知道他的心情和想法，那么该放手时就让我放手吧。正写着的时候，门突然被打开了，原来是他提前回来了。


日期：2009-12-15　21:31:03